FATHER FRANCIS FERNANDES

DO NOT BE AFRAID OF LETTING GOD SPEAK INTO YOUR LIFE

Would I Make a Good Priest?

I didn’t always want to be a priest. I had wanted to be a priest as a kid, but the desire faded away as I grew. By the time I was applying to university through QTAC in 2012, I definitely did not want to be a priest. I wanted to get married and work either as an engineer or industrial designer and recall being a little anxious that God might have other plans.

My time discerning between engineering and industrial design was a time of confusion and uncertainty. Many voices were offering conflicting advice, and they all seemed correct. Some people said, “Do what you love!” other more practical people said, “do what brings in the money!” Still, others said, “God wants what you want!” To cut a long story short, I gave one course a go and found neither of the two careers were realistic options for me. It was a time of dissatisfaction.

That dissatisfaction, however, opened me up to letting God speak his Good News into my life. I visited the vocations office and various discernment events and was surprised at how much priesthood resonated with me. The things I loved best about industrial design and engineering - that they brought joy and comfort into people’s lives – were things that I could do on a deeper level as a priest. God didn’t annihilate my passions; in fact, he deepened them.

I was fortunate to have chatted with a certain seminarian on one of my Quo Vadis weekends (he is now a priest in the Brisbane Archdiocese). I asked him if he was excited about getting ordained. He responded by saying that he didn’t see himself as being in the seminary to be ordained but to actively discern if God was calling him to the priesthood. Though I wasn’t afraid of stepping into the seminary, I do remember thinking then, “so I won’t be locked in if I give it a go!” Thus, to discern well and leave the seminary journey would have been as much a success as discerning to stay on. So I entered Canali House in 2014 and joined the seminary the following year.

I suppose a challenge I encountered during my time in the seminary was dealing with the question of whether I would make a good priest or not. It was not a crushing concern, but it crossed my mind on several occasions, especially when I became conscious of the areas in my life which still needed growth. The turning point came during my thirty-day retreat in my fifth year. In that time, I got to explore with Jesus all the underlying concerns, assumptions and baggage I was carrying in me. I saw myself more clearly, let go of a lot, and trusted God to continue leading me as I went out into ministry.

To you, the reader, I offer brotherly encouragement. Do not be afraid of letting God speak into your life. To paraphrase St. Augustine, God is closer to us than we are to ourselves. A good discernment begins with daily prayer. Also, remember not to discern alone! Find a priest or religious sister and journey together to explore what God and your own heart is saying to you. If even that is too much, I encourage you to at least pray for the desire to hear and heed God’s call.

Gerard Lai, A Seminarian's Story

I REALISED THAT JESUS WAS THE REAL DEAL AND THAT I COULD HAVE A PERSONAL FRIENDSHIP WITH HIM, JUST LIKE A BEST FRIEND.

I was brought up in a Catholic family as the middle child between two sisters. My parents are both from Malaysia, and they met here in Australia. Faith at home was praying before meals, praying before bedtime and going to mass on the weekend. I had faith, I believed in God, but I did not quite understand what that meant. Growing up, I never really considered the Priesthood.

I was at a youth camp in year 10 when I had my first spiritual awakening. The most exciting part of the camp was experiencing the power and love of Jesus for the first time. This happened during a time of reflection we were invited to go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation. At first, I told the priest the little things, but finally, I poured out my heart and told him everything. I looked up to see the priest’s reaction, he just looked at me, smiled very gently and warmly, said the prayer of absolution and wished me well.

As I walked back to my seat, I remember feeling a wave of peace come over me. It finally all made sense. I realised that Jesus was the real deal and that I could have a personal friendship with him, just like a best friend.

After high school, I completed two years of missionary work with NET Ministries Australia. I then continued pursuing my dream to become a scientist by studying a Bachelor of Science which I completed in 2016.

However, I felt like something was missing. My time on NET had really deepened my faith and made me realise that it was not automatic that you got married, had kids. There were other ways to serve. I wanted to find out what this whole priesthood thing was for myself. So I had a chat with the Vocations Office, and they recommended that I move into Canali House, a house of discernment of men thinking about the Priesthood. I spent two years in Canali house discerning God’s call for me.

I remember towards the end of my second year at Canali, I thought to myself: “Gerard, you can’t discern forever.” I remember still being torn between becoming a good dad and a good priest. So I said a sincere prayer asking God to show me which path I should take. I reflected on my life journey from high school until my current moment.

The fact that I was still considering Priesthood for two years in Canali House without any clear sign opposing it, made me sway in favour of the Priesthood. I still felt compelled to give Priesthood a go and knew that I would be discerning in the Seminary anyway so I went ahead with it.

I knew deep down that I would be running away from God and live in regret if I didn’t give the Seminary a go. So I gave it a go and here I am three years later, still on the journey and still discerning in the Seminary, but now I feel even more convicted that I’m supposed to be a priest.

In the Seminary, we do not pray 24/7, we do not know the bible back to front, nor do we have our lives in perfect order. Just like Jesus’ disciples, we are very ordinary people who have responded to the call of God in an extraordinary way.