FATHER FRANCIS FERNANDES

DO NOT BE AFRAID OF LETTING GOD SPEAK INTO YOUR LIFE

Would I Make a Good Priest?

I didn’t always want to be a priest. I had wanted to be a priest as a kid, but the desire faded away as I grew. By the time I was applying to university through QTAC in 2012, I definitely did not want to be a priest. I wanted to get married and work either as an engineer or industrial designer and recall being a little anxious that God might have other plans.

My time discerning between engineering and industrial design was a time of confusion and uncertainty. Many voices were offering conflicting advice, and they all seemed correct. Some people said, “Do what you love!” other more practical people said, “do what brings in the money!” Still, others said, “God wants what you want!” To cut a long story short, I gave one course a go and found neither of the two careers were realistic options for me. It was a time of dissatisfaction.

That dissatisfaction, however, opened me up to letting God speak his Good News into my life. I visited the vocations office and various discernment events and was surprised at how much priesthood resonated with me. The things I loved best about industrial design and engineering - that they brought joy and comfort into people’s lives – were things that I could do on a deeper level as a priest. God didn’t annihilate my passions; in fact, he deepened them.

I was fortunate to have chatted with a certain seminarian on one of my Quo Vadis weekends (he is now a priest in the Brisbane Archdiocese). I asked him if he was excited about getting ordained. He responded by saying that he didn’t see himself as being in the seminary to be ordained but to actively discern if God was calling him to the priesthood. Though I wasn’t afraid of stepping into the seminary, I do remember thinking then, “so I won’t be locked in if I give it a go!” Thus, to discern well and leave the seminary journey would have been as much a success as discerning to stay on. So I entered Canali House in 2014 and joined the seminary the following year.

I suppose a challenge I encountered during my time in the seminary was dealing with the question of whether I would make a good priest or not. It was not a crushing concern, but it crossed my mind on several occasions, especially when I became conscious of the areas in my life which still needed growth. The turning point came during my thirty-day retreat in my fifth year. In that time, I got to explore with Jesus all the underlying concerns, assumptions and baggage I was carrying in me. I saw myself more clearly, let go of a lot, and trusted God to continue leading me as I went out into ministry.

To you, the reader, I offer brotherly encouragement. Do not be afraid of letting God speak into your life. To paraphrase St. Augustine, God is closer to us than we are to ourselves. A good discernment begins with daily prayer. Also, remember not to discern alone! Find a priest or religious sister and journey together to explore what God and your own heart is saying to you. If even that is too much, I encourage you to at least pray for the desire to hear and heed God’s call.

ISAAC FALZON

“I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH HIM WHO STRENGTHENS ME”

(PHIL 4: 13).

keeping my focus on His face

Saint Ignatius of Loyola once said, “you wish to reform the world? Reform yourself [first].” My entire discernment journey started (and will continue) with the want/need to become a better person. If I can be a better person, then I can be a better disciple.

Life has not always been smooth sailing for me; however, I should not complain in comparison to many people’s lives. By the age of fifteen, things were not going so well. I searched for meaning, purpose, and happiness in other people and material goods. This led me down a dark path; I was in serious trouble with many different people and authorities. I had developed various illnesses, and I was unhappy with who I was and who I was becoming. I continued this way of life for 12 years until I had a re-conversion experience on a mission trip in Uganda. To cut a long story short, Uganda led me to serve with Net Ministries, and Net Ministries played a part in me joining the Seminary in 2017.

The biggest challenge that I faced in my discernment journey was myself. I had lived a full and colourful life, and when I looked at those priests and Seminarians, I knew they all seemed so perfect to me. I questioned my abilities and worthiness. I thought, why me? There were many other people who I thought would be better suited to the role. But God did not call them, He called me, and I had to act. If everyone left important things up to those they thought would be better at the job, nothing would get done. God does not call the equipped; He equips the called.

As I discerned the right decision two things stood out to me. Firstly, I felt God saying to me that “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me” (Phil 4: 13). I just needed to step out onto the water and keep my focus on His face and not the storm around me. If I believed that I could do it, if it was the work of God, and I worked hard, I could do anything, and everything would fall into place. Secondly, it was a simple decision; it was either a yes or a no, and I thought it was either a yes or no to God, so I felt that I had better say yes.

Despite all that went through my mind during my initial discernment, I have enjoyed every moment of the formation process. I have noticed that the reasons I joined the Seminary have not been the reasons I stayed in the Seminary and will most likely not be the reasons I will (potentially) be ordained. Namely, as I grow and change and my relationship with God deepens throughout this formation process, my goals, desires and dreams have deepened and changed as well.

Presently, I find and experience God the most during praise and worship and traditional liturgies. I feel God in equal amounts through listening to the likes of Emmanuel worship (‘desire’ is my favourite song) and in singing Latin or Gregorian chants. I am deeply attracted by the immense diversity, beauty, and potential that our Church, the sleeping giant, holds. I am in love with our mother Church, and I desire nothing more than to see her and the entire faithful shake with life and joy. And finally, I am very excited about my (potential) future ministry as a priest and the future of our great Church.

LAWRENCE (UCHENNA) EZEDINMA

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

My first vocation!

A soul in need reaching for meaning to life – this led me from Nigeria to Australia. I am a young man trying to discern my vocation. The idea that a career change and an exchange of culture would give meaning to my life was questioned a year after I arrived.

One Sunday at Mass, I saw a priest celebrate the liturgy with great joy despite getting around with a cane, when a voice came to me, ‘What are you waiting for?’ Young, single, Catholic, I was unable to shrug off the constant questioning.

I spent some time in the Canali Discernment Program, hoping I could get the questioning off my mind. This period was captured succinctly by the ever-visible tagline, ‘Where are you going?’ Through spiritual talks and exercises, I began to formulate my response, but it was only during a recent online meeting that the book To Save a Thousand Souls turned my ideas around: HOLINESS IS MY FIRST VOCATION. Yes, I had been putting the cart before the horse. I thought that I would become holy when I became a priest. Without first finding rest (holiness) in God, my soul remained restless. 

Holiness provides the spiritual compass to navigate the Christian journey, to respond to the question ‘Where are you going?’ with some clarity. I am coming to see holiness as perseverance in a way of life, continuously refined in the sacrament of reconciliation, refuelled in the Eucharist, and sanctified by the Paraclete.

The joy of this first vocation (holiness) will enable me to live out my secondary vocation – single life or marriage, holy orders or religious life – not as a burden, but as a sacrifice of thanksgiving.

For now, the practice of living my first vocation allows for the journey towards the second vocation to be clearer, more joyful and worthwhile.

Gerard Lai, A Seminarian's Story

I REALISED THAT JESUS WAS THE REAL DEAL AND THAT I COULD HAVE A PERSONAL FRIENDSHIP WITH HIM, JUST LIKE A BEST FRIEND.

I was brought up in a Catholic family as the middle child between two sisters. My parents are both from Malaysia, and they met here in Australia. Faith at home was praying before meals, praying before bedtime and going to mass on the weekend. I had faith, I believed in God, but I did not quite understand what that meant. Growing up, I never really considered the Priesthood.

I was at a youth camp in year 10 when I had my first spiritual awakening. The most exciting part of the camp was experiencing the power and love of Jesus for the first time. This happened during a time of reflection we were invited to go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation. At first, I told the priest the little things, but finally, I poured out my heart and told him everything. I looked up to see the priest’s reaction, he just looked at me, smiled very gently and warmly, said the prayer of absolution and wished me well.

As I walked back to my seat, I remember feeling a wave of peace come over me. It finally all made sense. I realised that Jesus was the real deal and that I could have a personal friendship with him, just like a best friend.

After high school, I completed two years of missionary work with NET Ministries Australia. I then continued pursuing my dream to become a scientist by studying a Bachelor of Science which I completed in 2016.

However, I felt like something was missing. My time on NET had really deepened my faith and made me realise that it was not automatic that you got married, had kids. There were other ways to serve. I wanted to find out what this whole priesthood thing was for myself. So I had a chat with the Vocations Office, and they recommended that I move into Canali House, a house of discernment of men thinking about the Priesthood. I spent two years in Canali house discerning God’s call for me.

I remember towards the end of my second year at Canali, I thought to myself: “Gerard, you can’t discern forever.” I remember still being torn between becoming a good dad and a good priest. So I said a sincere prayer asking God to show me which path I should take. I reflected on my life journey from high school until my current moment.

The fact that I was still considering Priesthood for two years in Canali House without any clear sign opposing it, made me sway in favour of the Priesthood. I still felt compelled to give Priesthood a go and knew that I would be discerning in the Seminary anyway so I went ahead with it.

I knew deep down that I would be running away from God and live in regret if I didn’t give the Seminary a go. So I gave it a go and here I am three years later, still on the journey and still discerning in the Seminary, but now I feel even more convicted that I’m supposed to be a priest.

In the Seminary, we do not pray 24/7, we do not know the bible back to front, nor do we have our lives in perfect order. Just like Jesus’ disciples, we are very ordinary people who have responded to the call of God in an extraordinary way.