“THERE IS JOY WHEN THAT TRUTH IS FOUND.”
Abide in my Love
John 15:10
After sixty years of consecrated life as an Ursuline, there is a long way to look back but it is a look that brings great joy. Long before convent life the joy began with my parents, brother, sister and extended family. I believe that is where I learnt how God could love. Then boarding school with the Ursulines drew me into the world of intentional meditation as each morning before mass the sister in charge shared with us her contemplation of the day’s gospel. In class we were introduced to the Ignatian pattern of prayer as we assembled our own ‘little meditation books’ where we learnt to pray with the constant desire to ‘know, love and serve Him’.
I was drawn to the Ursulines because they were an attractive group of individual women and they were respectful and loving towards their students. To join a religious Order at this time was considered quite a wonderful thing to do because it was seen then as a valued way of life. In our more secular society today, I don’t think it is viewed the same way.
In the early years, I felt great fulfilment and satisfaction as a teacher of young women. Imparting knowledge is exciting but drawing out the individual possibilities and seeing how each young one can flourish is more so.
Much of my life has been in formation roles within the Order, firstly as directress in the Novitiate where young women came to see if they were called to religious consecration or not. Central to my role at this time was the close accompaniment of each one in order to help discern if this desire was from God. This close accompaniment demanded constant attentiveness, a deep respect for the person in formation, knowledge of the ways of God and among other things an ability to wait.
An accompanier, as the word indicates, is not one of the main players. This business is between God and the person and it is the role of the one accompanying to walk beside the novice, instructing her in prayer and practices which develop closeness to God. And to help her interpret what is happening. The one accompanying also has to observe the signs in the life and actions of the one in formation to see if this is where she is happy and fulfilled. Discernment is seeking the truth and there is joy when that truth is found. Joy at one remaining who goes on to take vows and joy when one leaves. No way of life is greater than another. Just different.
In my role as formator it has been necessary at every stage to have my own spiritual director to see more clearly where God is in my life. Supervision was most important for me when I became director of our International Tertianship. This is a seven-month time in Rome for Ursulines from various countries and it takes place for them about ten years after first profession. With a multicultural group of women from different backgrounds, ministries and experiences I had to constantly stop and reflect on my practice with a qualified person as supervisor so as to enable the best outcomes for the sisters. Both spiritual direction and supervision keep us from deluding ourselves and help us to be true!